#I guess I'll improve my drawings skills over time :3

[sweetsnightmares]

I know this is not perfect but I needed to draw them, they are so cute.

Thanks @wendylianmartin for making this webtoon, I love it so much, I'm excited for what's coming <3

[einsatzzz]

For the weirdly specific artist ask game, can you answer 3, 4, and 14 ❤️

Heewwwooo Butter!!! Thank you for sending this, yipeee!!! 🥳🥳💖✨ I rambled too much with #3 (What ideas come from when you were little), I'm putting it last.

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

I already answered this here, but I'll give you another. Lum/ine, Ae/ther, Ei, Xi/ao, Wan/derer and any of my other faves from any Mi/hoyo game that I play, because goddamn! Just look at their outfits! Back when I was still drawing fanarts for Gen/shin, I will die every time just from drawing the details of their clothing. But I was too down horrendous for Lu/mine to just give up on drawing her. So when I switched to drawing Sp/yFam fanarts right after, my art braincells are just "Thank God, this evil Gen/shin obsession has been defeated".

Not gonna lie, with them releasing Oro/ron and Sun/day so close to each other, I'm starting to feel the urge to draw them again...wtf djfbjsd Anyway, if anyone drawing Gen/shin fanart (specifically) comes across this by any chance, here's a lifesaver reference site that I used for their outfits. It made the experience slightly less painful.

14. Any favorite motifs

Motifs where there are opposites of light/darkness and sun/moon, but not exactly presented in a black/white way where you know from a glance which is the absolute good and which is the absolute evil. It's more of like ying yang, where there's "complementary and at the same time opposing forces" or that "in kindness, there's evil; in evil, there's kindness". I believe the gray blur where each of these sides converge is the best place ever to explore in fiction.

3. What ideas come from when you were little

The concept itself of making a comic! When I was around...I guess around 4th to 5th grade? Around ten years old or less? I remember drawing this comic of an original story I had back then. I think the setting is something like a historical drama in Ko/rea.

That's because even in the late 2000's and early 2010s, kd/ramas were popping off so hard in PH, almost every adult I knew were watching them. It would always play in the background whenever I'm doing homework or when my mother is tutoring me. The titles I can remember were Je/wel in the Pa/lace and Queen Se/ondok (<-OK I GOTTA CONFESS THIS ONE CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY).

Anyway, my younger self got so into this original comic story, I probably ended up drawing up to like half a ream of papers? sdjfbjshvfshd It's all traditional drawings with short bond papers with just a shitty ballpoint black pen. I was ten years old(?), so it definitely looked not so good. It's a secret project so I'm the only one who knows about it and I also hid it under our cabinet like it's some lemon fanfic hahaha (it's more action, tragedy with a bit of romance) I think it's because of that bit of romance that I hid it out of embarrassment, also the papers were actually supposed to be for when we need to print something for school projects, so I think I thought I was gonna get scolded for "wasting" them. I'm not about risk myself getting whooped with either a slipper, belt or broom bro 💀💀💀

I think what happened after that is for when your art perception improves but ur art skills can't catch-up, so I kind of had an art block and wasn't satisfied with it anymore. Then I ripped the pages and threw the entire thing away dsjvfhdsfvshdf 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 I wish I didn't 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 I have no start point to compare my current art with anymore and I can't even remember the story or the OCs that I had in there anymore.

Anyway, I'm making up for it now by making comics seriously fr fr and I won't be deleting it even if a ten-wheeler art block truck hits me and runs me over.

This question made me look through the oldest fandom account I can remember, for possible old arts and it's actually so funny/embarrassing how passive-aggressive 14 year old me is. Someone commented "I don't like this ship! This character is only mine!" on a rarepair ship fanart I showed to the group and 14-year old me replied "I understand your feelings, but you're not his only fan so keep that to yourself next time ^_^" ajvfsghdcghsdcds other interactions are also full of haterism energy it makes me go GHURL STOP!!! 😭😭😭😭 THAT'S SO MEAN!!! This 14 year old is a wholeass different person, who does this bitch think they are?!

[akosmo]

Day 5 - Egg [May 31, 2023]

In 2023, My partner Gwen convinced me to start a thing she was doing: I'd draw every day, for a year, starting on the same day she'd start her 2nd year, May 27th, 2023. I had tried this with music before, and I really didn't last long, but I gave it a try, especially because I needed to practice art more. After finishing it last month, and looking back, I think it was a very cool challenge, and it improved my skills. But the best part was doing it alongside Gwen :3 At a couple of times, the deadline stressed me a bit, but it was all worth it. Over the following weeks, I'll be posting 50 out of the 365 drawings, which are my favorites. You can find all 365 drawings here. Original description: "I didn't know what to draw, and a friend suggested an egg bc we were talking about eggs. I guess this serves as painting practice." Find more of my work here: https://akosmo.carrd.co

[artistic-calathea]

DOODLE DUMP BECAUSE I HAVE NOT ACTUALLY DRAWN ANY ACTUAL ART PIECES IN A WHILE :D

These ⬇️ were over the span of about a week, and I finished it just a day or 2 ago !!

I drew these ⬇️ last month in aprilll?? I think?

I kinda just worked on it whenever I didn't have any other inspiration which is why there isn't too much

I also want to rant about these and the process n stuff a little bit so I am going to :)

Making the first one I started redrawing old stuff from a sketchbook (the person in the pretty dress, person in the sweater), and then I got distracted watching qsmp vods and drew Dapper and Juanaflipa!!

It was the first time I drew them not as eggs (so they might look totally different next time I draw them sorryyy) and it was super fun !!!! Im working on drawing all the qsmp eggs but it's not gonna be done for a bit since I am also not caught up on whats going on

the last stream I saw was a few days after the Brazilian members crashed and now I hear of France?? Idk but I'll prob try to catch up this week and finish the drawing soon :)

Also all the nature !!!! Literally my favorite thing to draw ever. I could just sit by a plant and draw it and never get bored

Sadly there are not many plants near my house so I might just have to go into the woods and look for cool plants to draw this summer heheheee oh nooo if it's the only way I guess... I just have no other option than going into the awesome woods with the nature and no other people and loud music in my headphones 😔 /sar Im so excited ajauvsv

THAT WASNT EVEN ABOUT THE PROJECT SORRY I always get distracted and ramble when talking about art (I am not going to stop doing this though its so fun!!)

Nowww about the project art,

Short version, these little sillies are being included because when I actually start the project in a few years I wanna look back on this and see how my art improved and how the story changed!

LONG VERSION...

"the project" as I've been calling it, is a goal of mine in life to create something emotional and meaningful that matters to people and can maybe help someone feel less alone :)

It is not that right now though ! At the moment it's just an idea since I don't really have the resources or skills to make it the way I would want to, but these sketches and stuff help me keep track of the idea while I get ready to make the thing

I have some papers with project stuff that I might post if anyone seems really interested in the project as it is right now (they are messy and hard to understand so I don't currently plan on uploading them anywhere)but if not I will likely just keep quietly working on it :3 and I'm definitely gonna change up a few things !! Some things on that page may not even make it into the actual project 👁️👁️

That's all I have until I draw more ! :P (also if you read all that you r automatically very cool and nice and you get 🪲 🐛🐜🐞 bugs :) /pos bug s good)

BYEEE :D

[threegoblinart]

Your art is amazing!!! The style is sooo pretty. How long does it usually take to finish one piece? And what are some tips for a beginner artist?

Hi friend! Thank you so much, you're just lovely. ❤️

At the moment I'd say a real finished painting can be 8-12 hours of work easily when you factor in sketch thumbnails, practicing tricky things and doing more than one draft.

My Willow at the Window was probably 12 hours because I had to reteach myself so perspective stuff I haven't done for 15+ years since set design class in college.

The drawing I posted today is already 5-6 sketches in my notebook and one previous first attempt with watercolor.

All this time is often over weeks - I work full time, have kids and we have a stupid number of hobbies, lessons, so I draw and paint in little snatches of time here and there.... Frequently at around 11 o'clock at night.

Advice... Oh, settle in and let the Art Mom tell you a tale... No, just kidding. I could regurgitate the usual junk (okay it's not junk and very valid, good advice like - yes you have to practice, use references, invest in quality materials whenever you can, explore different mediums until you find your thing, etc.). But instead I'm going to say this...

Remember two things:

1) art should be something you do because it makes you happy

and

2) remember you're an artist no matter what and be fucking proud of that

About point one, at the end of the day making art should make you happy... So that will mean different things to different people some people can find joy being considered a professional in their field, having art be their source of income and some will not. And that's okay.

I learned this the hard way. I tried to be a professional in my field (theatre) and for a while it was great, but I burned out quickly and realized that tying my livelihood to my art did not make me happy. I did not fail, I learned where my boundaries are to be happy, healthy and creative. So now I draw just for fun, sometimes do small commissions for friends, etc. Maybe one day I'll try to do more (I do have goals, I'd love to do more commissions, have my art in a book, have a small print store), but right now drawing my DND characters and fanart and silly little mushroom houses makes me happy and that's enough. Our worth as artists is not determined by sales or contracts or likes or followers, that's a bunch of consumerist, capitalist bullshit and your art and you are inherently worth more than that.

About point two... You're amazing, yep you, and you're an artist. Art is simply the expression of creativity and imagination and inspiration. It doesn't matter if your art is something on chapel ceilings or the back of your maths notebook - it doesn't matter if it's entirely original (I ❤️ fanart and guess what that stuff on the chapel ceiling is just religious fanart). Are you doing something creative, imaginative or inspired - congrats you're an artist (que Newsies "We're a union just by saying soooo!!!") And there are no other qualifiers based on skill or ability.

Whatever you create is something only you can do.

While it's absolutely fine to work on improvement and goals - it is good to study others work and take classes and learn and seek to improve - be proud of what you're making no matter what because you made it and that alone is amazing!

I learned this the hard way... I stopped drawing for 10 years, and only started again 3 years ago (I'm, ahem, not super young) and I'm still learning to take this to heart. I struggle with comparison and self worth as an artist still, it's not a light switch I can turn off but something I work at (and take medication for - stupid insufficient brain chemistry).

Comparison does nothing but rob you of joy. Be proud of what you can do right now. Be proud of what you could make last week or last year or when you were 6. Be inspired by others, but only compare you to you - that way you only see your improvement and surround yourself with people who will hype you up no matter where you are in skill and ability.

... but also, like, practice ... a lot.

P.S. as bonus these pictures are one of the first things I drew three years ago when I finally said "fuck it I'm going to draw again" and my most recent quick sketch. They both are different in skill and ability, but I'm proud of both.

[sappharaoh]

Writing

(3/?/23)

As I wait for my next storyboarding gig, I decided to take this time to start writing Chapter 2 of "Inheritor: Tribe of Khalil". And wow, this is WAY harder than writing Chapter 1. It's even harder than Chapter 3, which I seem to have WAY more ideas for. I wonder why that is.

This chapter is basically a "part 2" to the pilot. I notice that a lot of my favorite shows start off with two episodes to introduce the audience to its story. I remember shows like "Avatar: TLA" "Korra" "Attack on Titan" "LOST" and others doing this. One part is mostly characterization, and the other part is usually a lot of action/plot. Right now, I'm struggling with the characterization part.

I know why Chapter 1 was easy, it was basically a redo of a script I wrote years ago. Which I've been thinking about for over a decade. I know what I want to happen in Chapter 2, but I guess it's easier to plan a first impression than it is a second impression. I know what I WANT to happen, but it's all about HOW it happens. Which basically just comes down to my writing skill. I admit that I'm extremely out of practice, as I spent the past 1.5 years drawing rather than writing, but I do want to get this script done before my next art job, which takes about 80% of my creativity (I was only able to finish 13 pages in 7 months while I was working another job).

This also explains why I'm making blog posts, even though I'm not sure that anyone will even read them. I heard that the best way to get better at writing is to just...write. I also heard that it doesn't matter WHAT you write, as long as you just write. I'm not 100% sure how that makes sense, but hey, I'll try it. So hopefully, as the quality of my blog posts improves, so will the quality of my comics. If not, well...I guess I could try to be a professional blogger (is that still a thing?)

-Sappharaoh

[billiejean485]

For the art ask game 24, 14, 10 and 9!

24. Do you feel jealous when you see other people's art, or inspired? (Be honest!)

Here's how it is: I can get jealous of other people's art if they're younger than me and plainly have more talent. Yes, I know it's a stupid way to feel, because in the artist community (like in any other actually) it's important to have a lot of good to great artists, and you should really be happy that there will be people contributing to the cause and bringing to the table something better than yourself. I'm not proud of that feeling and I try really hard to suppress or reason with it when it surfaces. At least, so far, I never let it show - because if I ever put down someone younger than me I'd never forgive myself.

Other than that, no. Everything inspires me to do better myself and reach their level or go beyond.

... Actually, scratch that. I can get jealous if I'm in some kind of competitive surrounding. But I deal with it the same way I deal with the former one.

14. Do you ever collaborate with others?

Generally, no. Not because I don't like to, but because I don't really get the chance all that often.

There were times I did some small concepts for others or just plain sketches others could draw over - and maybe a few times I drew with someone on the same image together - but that's it.

However, since I strived to work in an animation studio - you can guess that it would be all about collaboration.

If I include writing too... so many options for collaborating open up, in terms of drawing what's written.

10. Are you confident about your art?

Let's say I'm more confident as an artist. I know where I am with my skill, what I need to learn, how better I am than other artists in lower level of skill and I know what kind of job I can get with my art.

As for the art alone, I always see the need for improvement and I am rarely satisfied with what I make. I do get doubts on how good it is, and I'll nitpick every detail if I have the time and energy to make it better. But at the end of the day, you just gotta embrace how good you currently are and move on. Love what you make, even though it's not perfect. (Spoiler alert: it's never going to be perfect. There is always room for improvement and being a perfectionist will hold you back.)

9. How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

Ahh, a question that's a nail to my coffin.

It depends. Frankly, I'd have to do the math, because I never draw the same amount of time every day.

And I finally found that to be okay. Some days I have completely free for my art (which is a rarity currently) and I can spend from 2-8 hours drawing. No kidding. I get in the zone and I don't even wanna stop for a potty break or food or sleep unless I can't take it anymore.

And there are the majority of days when I am so overwhelmed by chores and other obligations that I feel like I don't have the time for art at all. I'm literally afraid to pick up a pencil and a paper because I know I won't be able to get myself away from it for the next 2-3 hours.

However.... If too many days fly by and I don't do any form of art, I start to feel unwell. It's just that driving artistic energy to create and it makes me happier and more satisfied with my life, and I realized I just can't go on without doing it at all.

Note though that I am retired for life currently (I say 'currently' because I still have the freedom to choose a job instead) and it hasn't been a full year since I got retired. I'm still figuring things out.

Before that, doing art was my main priority because I wanted to get good enough ASAP to land a dream job. Right now, having survival off my mind... I get more time to spend with my family and some other important stuff you don't usually have the time for when you study or work. Like I said, still figuring things out, and still hoping that one day I'll be able to have a job as an artist. Heck, I'd do it for free if I had enough time for it. It's who I am and I'll never stop doing it.

... Well, I guess that's it for those. Many many thanks for the asks Crizz! I love to rant about this.

Also, since I lost the link to the original Ask List thanks to Tumblr's incompetence with the search engine, I'm posting screenshots I managed to take, if anyone else wants to throw a question into my inbox (I won't mind if you add more @crizztelcb):

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[twst-rose-prisms]

Alisa Whiterose

----------------💮-----------------

~Technical Information~

Japanese: アリサ • ホワイトローズ

Romanji: Arisa Howaitorozu

Nicknames: Angelfish-chan ( Floyd ), Lisa-chan ( Cater ), Reine des Mensonges ( Rook ), Lady Alisa ( by some of her fan ), Mrs.Famous ( Ace )

Voiced by: Kana Hanazawa ( voice sample )

~Biographical Information~

Species: (Merfolk) Angelfish ( can stay in the human form like Azul, Jade and Floyd )

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birthday: July 10th

Starsign: Cancer

Height: 1m63

Eye color: Ruby pink

Hair color: Silver-ish gray that slowly faded to pink

Body type: Semi-tall, slim, flexible

3 sizes (bc why not?): B77 - W56 - H78

Blood type: AB

Homeland: Rose Kingdom

Family: Alice Whiterose (non-blood related sister)

~Professional Status~

Dorm: Octavinelle

School year: First

Class: 1-B, student no.5

Occupation: Student, Mostro Lounge's Employee

Club: Boarding club

Best subject: Alchemy

~Fun Facts~

Dominant hand: Right

Favorite food: Strawberry flavoured sweets, Milk tea

Dislikes food: Alcohol, Green smoothie, Bitter chocolate

Dislikes: Her sister, Guessing people's age, Saving money

Hobby: Card games, Taking pictures, Yoga, Shopping

Bad with: Being honest (no she's not a tsundere), Wearing dark colored clothes

Talents: Photographic memory, Fashion coordinating

----------------💮-----------------

“Hey now, there's no need to rush on the payment! But~ Don't even try and think about running away~”

Alisa Whiterose is a first-year student at Night Raven College and a member of Octavinelle Dorm. One of Azul's assistant ( alongside Jade and Floyd ), she doesn't hestitate to put on an act just to saw people suffered.

----------------💮-----------------

APPEARANCE: Alisa is a young girl with mid-back length silver-ish gray hair that slowly faded to pink and round ruby pink eyes. She usually put her hair into side ponytail with a white ribbon and only tied up her hair when in sport uniform or put into waterfall braid in Dorm uniform. Very flexible and fast, she often appeared and disappeared quickly and rarely ever stand still for a long time in one place. Her body can be described as an "ideal one" for many girls, hence why lots of people got jealous of her.

In her mermaid form, like Jade and Floyd, her entire body is a slightly deep pink color but it slowly faded into white around her chest area. She have sharper nails, her ears got replaced with gills and have appendages on her arms (like Jade and Floyd). Unlike the twins, she have shorter and smaller tail, fluorescent and shorter gills & appendages (don't worry, I'll draw her mermaid form... soon... maybe...)

In her Dorm uniform, she wears a black fedora with a grey bow around it and a purple sea shell on the bow. Her outfit consists of a purple dress shirt with a white necktie, a black double-breasted suit, a cool toned grey scarf with the Octavinelle logo on it and white gloves. She also wears black-and-white boots with heels and is seen wearing black tube skirts accompanied by a pair of purple thigh highs.

PERSONALITY: A girl with good communication skills, a fashionista and a gourmet, she got admired and jealous by many people due to her appearance and cheerful attitude. She can talk with almost anyone easily and won't afraid to raise her opinion at others. Although she's bad at guessing people's ages, she can still call them with respect (if they're older than her). Alisa also have a very good fashion senses and eyes when taking pictures, some of her styles even become the latest trends on MagiCam for more than a month. She also love her followers and often replied back to their comments when she have spare time, which of course, gained their affection even more.

“Huh? My fault? Fu...! Hahaha! How funny! The one decided to sign that contract is you, not me right? So, it's your fault for listening to my words in the first place!” - Alisa's initial SSR personal story ( part 1 )

However, her cheerful personality is just a facade to hide her true nature. Alisa is actually a sadistic, cruel and calculating girl who doesn't afraid to bend the truth just to get what she wants. She knows where and when to pull the right strings while acting innocently. Can manipulate anyone easily with her unique magic, though she mostly relied on her charms and only use her magic when necessary. Often have dark thoughts about others but never said it outside, to her, anyone that interested in the contract is a new "toy". Alisa also loves to lure students into signing a contract with Azul and "accidentally" mess them up so they can't do(?) the payment. While she's his assistant (along with Jade and Floyd), her ways of "working" is distinctly different from the twins. No one can really tell what her next move is, even Azul himself sometimes got surprised too.

“I wonder... why does Mom love her so much that she forgot my existence...? Huh...? O-Oh, it's nothing!” - Alisa's classroom chat no.3

Alisa also shown to despite her sister - Alice but of course, she never show it outside and always act cheerfully around her, even call her with nickname "Ari-chan" and act friendly with her. The reason why she hates her is because she think it's her fault that her mother doesn't love her anymore. Because she has stayed with her mother ever since she's still a little human child, her mother is the person who she cherished the most (until now) for taking care of her and show her the human world. That's also the reason why she strike to be the best in beauty in order to let her mother notice her again. Because of this, she decided to learn and did research on how to dress up and do make-up all by herself without anyone's guide. Alisa did mentioned once that it took her 10 years to have a very good taste in fashion like now, but she said “My mother did notice how much I changed, but, I don't understand why she still give that girl more attention!?”

This is the reason why she got sorted into Pomefiore at first and not Octavinelle. Alisa did felt very glad that she got into the most beautiful and elegant Dorm in Night Raven College, which encourage her to become even better at "being beautiful". Vil did comment that she was one of the first years that reach his standard in beauty, though of course, she still have to improve more. Although Alisa did enjoyed her time at Pomefiore, she said that she wanted to "make another step" and decided to sign a contract with Azul. That's the reason why she is now in Octavinelle. Although she can still talk with Vil normally without any problems afterwards, deep inside, she did felt guilty for leaving like that, but there's no point in crying over split milk, so she have no other choice but to keep stepping forward from now on.

“Sometimes, I like to take pictures of simple things, to me, they somewhat calmed my heart down... Haha! Weird, right?” - Alisa's school uniform R card's personal story

Aside from her cruel side, Alisa have a soft spot for taking pictures and doing yoga. Her heart is always at ease whenever she look at all the pictures she took. While she often post selfies and fashion pictures on MagiCam, her gallery actually have lots of pictures related to scenery, food or even people. (She have at least 10 pics of Azul in her phone) She also never use photoshop or editing app, because she said that “it'll ruin the beauty of the pic!”. If you want to improve your skills at taking pictures, you could always ask the gray haired girl for advice, she'll wholeheartedly guide you. Alisa is also a morning person because she often woke up early to do yoga (and dressing up too of course), hence why her body is very flexible. You could see this clearly at PE classes, even other students are also impressed with how fast she run. While she loves playing all sorts of card games, she will only accept other's challenge when they have something to bet for, to her, betting will make the game become way more interesting and thrilling, especially if anyone dared to bet their life or things that precious to them.

UNIQUE MAGIC: "Sugar-coated Words" ( 嘘の行進 "Parade of Lies" ) Can bend the truth permanently with any lies she wants ( even joke or nonsensical words, if she want to ). However, she can't lie to the same people with the same lie twice, and if they remembered the truth then the lie that she told them will become useless.

----------------💮-----------------

BACKSTORY ( just a part of it ):

She couldn't remember much what happened before she got "adopted" by Mrs.Whiterose.

The only thing she remembered was the warm, peaceful blue sea. She felt so free at that time, as if she could go anywhere she wants. She also remembered how beautiful the coral reefs look, how the dim sunlight shone gently through the water surface and how warm it was on her skin. It was a very blissful scenery, too blissful that she couldn't forget it no matter what. But, it also made her remembered the painful times too.

It's strange. Whenever she remembered that scenery, her chest unconsciously got tighten. Maybe it's because of how painful it was. But, other than that, she felt like she forgot something, no, more like someone important to her. Someone that become her friend when she was still a little fish. Someone that stand up and protect her from other mermaid's bully because she can't grow into a mermaid herself (which is a very rare case in the Sea of Coral). Someone that stand out from the other, just like her.

At first, she thought that it was a curse. A curse that can never be get rid of. She cried and cried, but because she's under the sea, no one will notice how much tear she shed because she's just a mere fish. No one will bother watching a normal fish "crying" or even "talking". In the sea, the merman have the most authority to literally do anything after all. As long as she's still a fish, no one will stand up to her when she got bullied. Because fishes are very pathetic and weak, a single slap could make them died so easily. That's why she always hate the merman, because of them she have to suffer for oh so many times. She couldn't do nothing about it except swimming away in fear, with bruised fin and scales on her small, fragile body.

Until that person appeared.

That person, unlike other merfolks, doesn't laugh at or bully her. She still remember their first encounter. It was quite interesting, to say at least. When she was hiding away in fear because of those merman again, she encountered a small cave so she quickly hide there in convenience. What she didn't expected is that another person also there. Even though she doesn't remember their appearance anymore, she still remembered clearly of how kind their words were when they saw her bruised fin. They were the first person to care for her and talk to her with such a soft, worrying and somewhat curious voice. Although they can't see it, but at that moment, she cried, her tiny droplet of tears immediately became one with the deep blue sea.

Who it is? Who is that person that always made her chest tighten whenever she remember it? Why can't she remember them now? Why? She don't want to forgot them. Especially when they're the reason why she can turn into a mermaid like now. She curse herself for not remembering one of the most important person that changed her life, but there's nothing she can do but keep rewinding the same scenery on her mind like a broken tape and hope that by any chance, she can remember their face and, if her own mind let her, then maybe their name too.

RELATIONSHIP ( in Alisa's opinion )

Heartslabyul

🌹 Riddle Rosehearts: "At first, I thought he was a first year because of how small he look! Aside from that, I think he should learn how to control that temper of him, it's really annoying sometimes~ Also, his face when he's angry is just... *laugh*"

❤️ Ace Trapola: "An annoying, stupid, hot-headed and dumb guy. Opps, did I just say "stupid" twice? Well, because he IS stupid. I felt bad that Ma-chan have to deal with the dumb one in the school~ *giggles*"

♠️ Deuce Spade: "At least Deuce-kun is less stupid than Ace-kun~ Also, he have to learn how to chill out because sometimes, his serious attitude annoyed me. Aside from that, he's quite reliable if you asked him to help you, though with that personality of him then he might get tricked someday~"

♦ Cater Diamond: "Cay-senpai is really stylish and cool~! Not to mention, he's popular on MagiCam as well so I admire him quite a lot! Whenever I took a picture together, my fan would spam the comment section with compliments which really warm my heart! *giggles* And oh! He also know lots of nice cafe to take a picture, so I often thanked him for that~!"

♣ Trey Clover: "Unlike other upperclassmen, he's a super nice and kind guy! His sweets is top notch so I often buy some from his family's bakery, and let me tell you, you have to eat it at least once in your life or else you're missing one of the most delicious thing in the world! Ari-chan sure are lucky to be sorted in Heartslabyul~"

❄️ Alice Whiterose: "...Do I really have to talk about her? I do? Ugh, fine... Well, Ari-chan is my sister and I guess my mother love her a lot? Well, as long as she doesn't brag about it then It won't bother me... Huh? I look very angry right now? Oh, no, I'm not that angry! Well, maybe just a little~ *giggles*"

Savanaclaw

🦁 Leona Kingscholar: "I'm kind of wondering why he can still be a Dorm leader when all I see is him sleeping and being lazy? Even Floyd-senpai's laziness couldn't match him! I guess I could somewhat understand Ruggie-senpai's feeling now... *chuckles*"

🐆 Ruggie Bucchi: "His ears look really cute~! Opps, did I just squeal a little there? Hehe, sorry, but it's the truth so I couldn't help it~ Aside from that, I'm impressed by how sneaky he is! Maybe we can be partners in crime someday...~ *giggles*"

🐺 Jack Howl: "For a guy that have the same age as me, he doesn't look like one at all! I actually thought he was an upperclassman at first! *giggles* His tail is like a pillow, it's super fluffy that I want to hug it all the time~ But of course, he always tried to shoo me away if I tried to touch his tail... *sigh*"

Octavinelle

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto: "Azul-senpai is soooo cool! I really like the way he make those guys suffer while still keeping a smile on his face! *giggles* He's also very smart and gentlemanly too, though his merman form as a child is a little... *laugh* S-Sorry, keep this away from him, okay~? I don't want him to get mad at me~"

🦈 Floyd Leech: "He almost scares me to dead when I first met him! Aside from that, his threats is quite effective against those guys~ His merman form also look quite nice too, I love the skin color, it kinda reminds me of the earrings that I bought! But... If only he stop being so annoyingly lazy when it comes to working...

🐬 Jade Leech: "Unlike Floyd-senpai, Jade-senpai is such a gentleman! He's also a hard-working person too, as expected of our Vice-leader! Of course, I know his true nature and it makes him become even more interesting~ *giggles*"

Scarabia

🕌 Kalim Al-asim: "Kalim-senpai sure are very energetic huh? *giggles* He might look naive and easily get tricked, but I'm actually impressed that he can quickly detected poison from food! One time, one of my haters, who disguise as my fan, tried to poisoning me with their gift but luckily, Kalim-senpai save me from it! Hehe! I felt really grateful about that!"

🐍 Jamil Viper: "Is he a babysitter or something? Because I often saw him go with Kalim-senpai for like 24/7 or something... I did tried his cooking once and let me tell you, it was so good that I can't forget its taste until now! I clearly understand why Kalim-senpai keep bragging about his cooking skills~!"

Pomefiore

👑 Vil Schoenheit: "Vil-senpai is soooo pretty! No, more like stunningly beautiful! He's also have amazing make-up tips too so I really admire him! Although... I did felt kinda bad for leaving Pomefiore like that... I hope that he doesn't hold a grudge against me or something... W-Well, since it's a bad thing you know? Haha! Sorry if I sounds a little negative there!"

🏹 Rook Hunt: "A weird and somewhat creepy guy, to be honest... I mean, it's normal to like beautiful things, but do he have to call me with some weird nickname for like, every single times!?"

🍎Epel Felmier: "He look quite cute for someone who doesn't know how to do make-up! Epel-kun sure are lucky to have such a natural beauty huh~? If only I could be pretty like him too... Aside from that! His apple cutting skills is really amazing, my fan also comment that the person who carve those apple must be an amazing artist, and I agree with them!"

Ignihyde

💀 Idia Shroud: "For a upperclassman, he's way too gloomy! I haven't talk to him much but I felt like he dislikes people like me because of how popular I am... His little brother is also the complete opposite with him, which is a little weird I guess...?"

🤖 Ortho Shroud: "He's really cheerful and friendly! Unlike Idia-senpai, he doesn't afraid to talk to everyone like me, which is actually a good thing if you think about it! Also, he looks super cool! I've never saw an cyborg before so I actually got stunned st first when I saw him!"

Diasomnia

🐉 Malleus Draconia: "He's definitely not human for sure... Well, I haven't talk to him yet so I don't know much about him, but he look like he got misunderstood for something... And never got invited to the school's Ceremony sounds really sad, to be honest~"

🦇 Lilia Vanrouge: "I actually thought he was a first year when I first saw him! Also, I have to say, Diasomnia sure are an... interesting Dorm~ *giggles* Lili-senpai are really knowledgeable, and talking to him is surprisingly pleasant~ He kinda reminds me of an old man... Haha! Sorry, keep this away from him, okay? I don't want him to scold me or something~!"

⚔️ Silver: "A very mysterious and interesting guy~ I heard some rumors that he got adopted by Lili-senpai and Mal-senpai so it makes him even more interesting~ He definitely have some rich information for Azul-senpai though... *giggles*"

⚡Sebek Zigvolt: "God, do he have to like, shout everytime in literally everywhere!? At least he doesn't shout at me yet or else I'll kick him on the face or something... And he also seems to respect Mal-senpai a lot I guess, but he don't have to brag about "how great he is" for like, every single time you know?"

Others

🌻Mary Merveilles: "Ma-chan sure are quite positive, even in troubling situation! She also look quite naive and easily get tricked, I just hope that no one tried to take advantage of her~ Also, I must say, she's quite lucky to have those guys as her friends, at least she's not alone in the school... Unlike me... Huh? O-Oh, it's nothing!"

🐱 Grim: "This cat is like Ace-kun but in animal form or something! I don't understand why Ma-chan can deal with this annoying cat for like, 24/7 or something... If I were her I would literally go crazy because he keep causing unnecessary troubles around the school!"

🌙 Luana Crowley: "What a mature and beautiful woman! I really admire the adult like aura that she gives off and I want to give off the same vibe too~ Although I'm kinda surprised that she's Headmaster's wife... I didn't think that he actually can get a wife... Haha! It's harsh but it's the truth! Though, don't tell him about this, okay~? *giggles*"

Dire Crowley: "Aside from his fancy clothes, his personality is the complete opposite of my imagination! Maybe it'll be better if Mrs.Vice-headmaster should be the Headmaster instead~ Haha! I'm kidding~! But I'm really curious about his masks, I wonder how does he look like without it...?"

Mozus Trein: "Lucius is annoying sometimes, to be honest. Because of his constant meowing, I can't focus on History, which is one of my worst subject! ...Aside from that, at least Trein-sensei's words is not too complicate to understand, or else I'll choke– I-I mean, scares that cat off!"

Divus Crewel: "Crewel-sensei looks like a Dalmatian, not gonna lie *giggles* The stick that he keep carrying around is kinda weird, to be honest... If my fish form got poke by that I'd definitely died huh? Haha, sorry for sounding a little negative there, I'm just kidding~!"

Sam: "His shop sure are amazing! He's pretty cool if you talk to him, he might teach you some tricks when go shopping~ I also often come there to buy some interesting stuff~!"

TRIVIA:

+ She's based of a pink florescent Pterophyllum scalare ( commonly known as a Angelfish ). Hence why she have florescent tail and gills in her mermaid form.

+ While her profile stated that her homeland is Rose Kingdom, her backstory actually revealed that it's not her true origin. ( The same case as Alice )

+ While she dislikes saving money, she's actually very good at it.

+ She always tied her hair with a white ribbon, some of her fan also noticed that she decorate her hair with that ribbon in every single outfit in her selfies.

+ In Alisa's initial SSR's personal story (part 3), she did said that the ribbon was "something she hates but can't let go of it from her side"

+ She hates it if someone photobombed her pictures. And guess why she hates it? Poor Alice got tons of attention on MagiCam because she accidentally photobombed one of Alisa's selfies (Luckily she didn't lash out at her sister)

+ She love strawberry flavoured sweets to the point of eating them at least one time per day (of course, she eat various type of sweets)

+ She have lots of pastel color or girly color clothes in her room

+ Speaking of pastel color, her room also have a lot of cute and pastel colored decorations

Will add more in the future~

----------------💮-----------------

Anddd that's it for Alisa's grand debut! If you wondered why my artstyle looks a little different with the fem!Riddle one is because fem!Riddle was finished after I finished Alisa's design :> Again, for anyone who read until the very end, thank you very, very much 💞💞💞

Mary will be the next one to make her debut so stay tuned! 😊 Anyway, peace~~

[rppik]

1/1/2020

... or, well, it was about two hours ago (it's 2 am), but I'm not gonna get nit picky lol. This year I'm gonna do journal entries, once daily or as often as I can manage! I reckon it'd be fun, I enjoy looking back on past shit I wrote so why not write more regularly~? I also want to draw more this year, to improve and just for the hell if it, so... Ye :3 I want to do more digital art especially, since I have so little practice in it, but I can't at the moment so instead I'm working on a traditional piece on the big ol' sketchbook my dad got me for Christmas.

This is what I have so far, done a little bit every now and then during December. Excuse my poor photography skills, I'm inexperienced lmao:

Explanation out of the way, onto the actual journalling, I guess;;? ... Heya hey. The first day of 2020 was pretty darn decent! Went grocery shopping, picked up some stuff from the Christmas clearance section that we thought would be useful for making decorations next year. Made chicken and noodles from scratch (which was sooo good), did some cleaning, tried to be as helpful as possible before fucking around on Minecraft. The bee update came to the PS4 recently but I haven't been able to find any yet, even after starting a new world (which I'm looking forward to building in, but still, where's my buzz friends ;o;?). Little broski and dad are sick, dad with a nasty cough and J with the flu, and I'm over here with no vaccines or health insurance like,, I love you and am here for you but God I don't want what you got fkdkdkk. I'm about to head on to sleep, got a bit of a headache, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow~ haven't had too bad if anxiety at night recently, so maybe I'll actually be well rested.

Tomorrow I want to work on the bead chandeliers we got going on, and potentially wrap presents for a pal of mine I plan on visiting soon. He's in college, hasn't got much access to holiday decorations, and I just so happen to have supplies aplenty for just the thing so~~~

Over and out, Ally ^^

PS. forgot to mention, I told myself earlier I'd give a shoutout the the worker who helped me at the store-- sending good vibes to the pal who helped pick up the box I dropped when my hands were way too full! Mundane moments of kindness like that keep the world turning and also I really didn't want to bend over at the time so thanks lmao

[adalheidisme]

Just random stuff (3)

For over a year of being at home, I had few discoveries of myself, and that includes my skills in arts - that had been kept "untouched" for a veeeery long time.

I started drawing as early as 5 years old I guess? My first drawing that I can remember was a cat, and drew it behind my picture when I was in nursery school. I still remember that my mother draw a cat first and then I copied it.

(My mom's drawing was the cat on the right, and the rest was mine).

When I was in fourth grade, I had a classmate who is really talented and really good in arts and I used to watch her while she's drawing or sketching something. I still have kept that Brats-like drawing that she drew in my notebook before, and I had cut and pasted it in a different notebook (found it!).

From then on, I built an interest in arts, and eventually, fell in love with it.

I remember that I used to draw in my notebook before, during, and/or after class, and also in my room if I had nothing to do or whenever I feel like it (and I'm still doing this rn). When I was in fifth grade, I am joining contested events about arts such as cartooning and painting. I still remember that painting event wherein my teacher told me that I will be the one to represent the school, and I said yes, even though I still do not know how to paint that time (it was my first time to paint). The event was all about abstract painting, and my entry was fishes that formed into a big fist lol, and guess what, I didn't have any place, even just for a consolation prize. Whenever I remember that memory, I'm laughing at myself because the sight of my painting was still clear on my mind that I still feel a little embarassed because THAT WASN'T EVEN AN ABSTRACT PAINTING IN THE FIRST PLACE and my teacher didn't told me so lol. Though, I'm still grateful to have an amazing experience. The same teacher let me joined again an arts contest regarding saving the environment in our municipality and won a cash, though he got half of my prize, LOL again. I remember being happy when our neighbor told my aunt that my work was displayed outside the municipal hall huhu, that was an achievement for me and I was silently celebrating inside my heart. And I also have a memorable experience during that cartooning event (about the addition of 2 years in high school) wherein I was the first or second to finished, and won a cash prize being the third, and that was the time that I have had my second crush (he was also one of my competitor that time and the first place). I still had a crush on him during first year college (since we are in the same school) but I "uncrushed" him when he unfriended me on facebook lol. Those were few of my memories when I was in primary school that were art-related.

In secondary school, I was also joining contested events in arts but just rarely. My memorable experiences was during junior high school, I joined a slogan contest and represented the high school department (since our school was a university and/or a joint high school/college whatever-you-call-it-type of school), and our Dean (and our professor in Biology) that time had told me (in front of the class) that I nearly won if I haven't had that small mistake - that tudlukan. I have never been embarrassed while laughing inside in my whole life except for that moment. That was pretty hilarious and I will never forget that lol. And when I was in senior high school, the time that I won the slogan contest (for the third time that year), since I didn't want to go up on the stage to get my prize 'cause I was shy that time that my friends had to pull me to go on the stage until my wrist became swollen lol (we were outside the comfort room on the first floor of the SHS building that time), somebody had to get it for me HAHAHA. I still had lots of hilarious experiences and even heartbreaking ones but if I share it in here, I think there'll be no enough space.

And now that I'm in college, I haven't entered in any contested events regarding arts yet (and I'm not planning too), because of tons of things to prioritize. Even before the pandemic started, I am still doing arts, and the first time that I showed it to the class was when one of our requirements in a subject was to share to the whole class (before the class starts) our talents. And what I did was to paint and recorded it, then showed it to them. Funny thing was the sound system didn't worked that time so they watched it plainly, and it was very awkward for me LOL. Imagine watching a fast forward art process without any background sounds/music, BORING! Though I'm still thankful that they appreciated it. They also asked me if what was my inspiration behind my work, and I told/explained to them the recent Amazon fire that time since my painting was really inspired by that event (it looked like this: four boxes in an illustration board, first box was tall green trees, second box was the ocean with silhouettes of water animals, third box was gray and black mountains, and the fourth box was orange to red mountain on a sunset), and it was like a shambled phases of before, during, and after a fire. That painting was kept in our dormitory, and I forgot to bring it home.

And now that the class has ended temporarily, I am able to enhance my skills in art. I even challenged myself to draw a self portrait and I'm really amazed by my improvements. I am so happy for my little improvements every single day. Hoping that soon, I'll be able to bring my art works into peoples' hearts and homes.

(just few of my works using graphite/charcoal pencil)

-Alethéia

[almaasi]

How long have you been having issues with feedback? This time of year I'm usually inundated with fic due to the DCBB and before that the tropefest etc. This means not only am I less likely to have time for any one fic, but also that I'm struggling to find the mental energy to respond. I actually have Marshmalloween still open--I really enjoyed it and wanted to give more feedback than just kudos but haven't had the energy! If I just kudos then I'll never write the comment and I want to.

(below: me analysing my ao3 stats, then explaining them, and emoting about it)

this whole year has actually been really weird in terms of feedback. in 2013/2014/2015 everything was peaking - i guess the destiel fandom had its heyday back then. and that was the tippy-top of my feedback.

ao3′s stat page tells me that on works published in those years, i got 20,000 kudos in 2013, almost 25,000 in 2014, and 19,700 in 2015. in 2016 i was too sick to write for most of the year, and only posted 5 fics all year, so the total of 4,200 kudos makes sense in comparison.

but then in 2017 i’ve been posting once a month, with (in my opinion) some massive improvements in terms of my writing skill, particularly seen in The Wireless and Marshmalloween. i’ve posted 11 fics this year, and they’ve been getting progressively fewer kudos and comments, on average. the most recent of my fics to break the 1,000 kudo mark was Welcome All Winchesters which i posted A FULL YEAR ago. i can’t say everything i’ve posted this year has the same draw for a broad number of readers as before, but the total number of kudos on fics i’ve posted this year is 4,600. (and about 500 of those were on Our Garden Home, on chapters i posted in 2015.)

so in 2017, despite more than doubling my output from 2016, feedback is the same. which technically means it’s half as lucrative, i guess.

i can understand that the destiel fandom is likely ailing, and perhaps i’m not writing stuff that appeals to the masses like i previously did. but if anyone’s ever been in a position where you made something beautiful that you’re proud of, and someone else loved it, and loved it, and loved it, but then apparently stopped loving it and never came back, you can maybe imagine how i’ve been feeling all year.

suffice to say, i am in NO WAY ungrateful for the utter magnitude of reader response. i KNOW this is way, way, w a y, more kudos than most people in fandom ever get on their work, even over a lifetime. i’m not saying that 100 kudos on a new work isn’t a lot, i’m saying that after being treated to 1,000 kudos on every new work, something doesn’t seem right. something’s changed for the worse, and every day i’m wondering what it is, and how i can fix it. the lack of constructive criticism makes that almost impossible. so i just keep making things and hoping it fixes itself, only for it to get worse.

storytime!! in 2014 i was invited to destielcon, and was up on a panel to talk about something or other, and there were probably 50 people in the room. i casually mentioned my fic Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies, and everyone in the room raised their hands when i asked who had read it. until that second, i had absolutely no idea that the response i was getting wasn’t normal.

three years later i still don’t know how to process it, i still have trouble imagining each little kudo-heart as a person. 100 kudos is twice the amount of destiel shippers i’ve ever met in my entire life. imagining that as a physical crowd? it’s a lot.

the sheer magnitude of my reader response has allowed me to build a brand, and a very modest career from it (so modest it’s unsustainable, in fact). (patreon.com/almaasi if you wanna help me reach my goals). i am SO GRATEFUL for everyone getting me here. i just don’t want it to end here, you know???

aside from that……… anon, i totally and completely understand a lack of energy. you take as long as you need to compose a response - and if you never get to it, i understand that too. i love that you want to, and i love that you keep your intentions afloat even when your energy levels get the best of you

–

all of my Destiel fics

(please check out the newest ones!!! apparently people aren’t getting email notifications)